Out there, there is always more than your eyes can see. It is never the truth that it seems to be. The color and all the things you see all around you, in your room, outside in the street. Look at whatever you want, you will see only a fraction of what it really is. I am not talking seeing the surface of the whole object, I am talking about seeing a fraction of the surface. The colors you see of a object is a different one for an other animals. A red rose is not way it look in reality. The rose when absorbs all the other color of light but reflects the red color,it looks red. I saw about this on t.v. When I was 12 to 13 years old. From that moment my world was not real anymore and I started finding everything interesting and thus life itself became the most interesting and deepest thing for me and I became a romantic.
I started to see beauty in sunrise,clouds,sky and sunset. The sunshine though the leaves became a great source of joy and I felt beauty in many things that other members of my family and friends overlooked. When I see green young leaves shining though the sunshine, it gives me joy that I can not explain.It feels like there is beauty all around us where we live, and yet we only see where the dirt is. There are Ashoka flowers in my yard, I see butterfly ad bees flying around sucking sweet honey from the flower.
The literature and films has made an romantic. The films of Shakespear’s play has made me realized the beauty of poetry. In my childhood I was not interested in poetry, because our english teachers taught us to memorize the poems from the english text book.But I was never interested in memorizing from my childhood, still I do not like memorize texts.For memorizing without feeling and understanding the subject is parrot learning.I could never do that. I search for creation of new things more. I did not felt the poetry untill I was 15 or 16, when I was in class 9 or 10,That is when somehow I became interested in literature and films,and I saw it, the vast ocean of literature, arts, philosophy. I did not know where this interest was leading me to, because from that moment I was not the same person I used to be.I knew not how to name the feeling, but there was always a feeling, so beautiful and great and yet so hard to name the feeling, I was always curious about God, religion, life and world.Before the year 2000, I did not have any idea how big the world is, the vast human knowledge, I was 8 years old when I read about Y2K in a science magazine, I did not understood what it was. Before the year 2000, we did not have color t.v, but then in 2002, we bought a color t.v, because my father promised me, he would bought us a color t.v, if India enters the final in cricket world cup. India did enter final but lost the game.
After the color t.v, we got cable connection, there I could see the National geography, and the channels of Bollywood films, there was a channel of english films star movies. In the films I saw a world, I never thought that there was. Before cable connection, we had only two government channels called DD national and DD metro and I used to watch all the cartoons. broadcasted on metro channel, there was numerous cartoons broadcasted on these two channels in the evening, but now metro does not even exist and DD national is same as dead. Those were great time, I was in a quest to discover new unknown things or words. I learned hindi watching the Disney cartoons. There was Hercules, that cartoon series was great, I used to feel amazing, every evening I could see that greek mythology. When we got cable, I could see more cartoons zee t.v and star plus, but now, these two channels are not great they used to be. Batman, spiderman,superman,hulk,iron man, justice league,fantastic four they were all my favourite, I have spent many great times watching those cartoons. My most favorite cartoon was Duck tales, it was full of adventure and mystery, Oh those days were great.Without those cartoons, my childhood would have been something else, I would have been someone else now doing something else, not writing about those times. Everyday it was adventure, school in the morning, then after all day at school, lunch at home then cricket at the field nearby. Then after cricket, all sweating and tiredness, I used to wash my hands and mouth, then I watch those great cartoons, which have a great impact in my life.
Even though I was not interested in english films, because my parents used to think they are dirty. All these years till when I was 16, I have watched numerous films of Bollywood. In my childhood, Mithun was my favourite actor, because he used to fight with the bad guys all alone. Then my favorite hero was Akshay kumar, Sunil Setty, Gobinda.
I know that I would not have been me if I did not watched these devotional serials like Mahabharata, Krishna, Vishnu Purana, Ganga maiya, which have created a great wonder and curiosity in me about God, life and vastness of universe. As the great book Gita says that all the universe is within the Great god Krishna.
I used to wonder and wonder about it, but there was no answer. Besides these, every thursday, a holy book ”Vagabata” was read by an old man, and 10 to 15 people used to come to listen. It was giant book written in verses praising the god and the stories of saints. It took 5 years to complete the whole book. Every thursday it was a holy day for us, our feelings used to be different every evening the holy book ”Vagabata ” was read in a melody. There verses were not tough to understood, because the words were originated from a great ancient language ”Sanskrit”. Three readers completed that book,one was a saint, who had left his family to praise God Krishna, but he could not finish that book, then there was an old watchman of Pathsala girl’s high school, but he died, then came a man from a village nearby, who completed the book. Everyday thursday evening, that book was read for 1 hour, and we used to serve them tea, sweets,cookies and cakes. Among these old people that used to come to listen the reading, two of them are dead by now. So, this is life. we live and we die.
I was growing up very fast, I went to high school, that books was finished, thursday was no more different , it became just an day of the week. Then in the world of t.v. a new channel called discovery came. I was mesmerized the documentaries of BBC, the documentaries about physics.
When I entered in class 9, I never knew that my life was about to change, I was about to enter in the world of cinema, art and philosophy. Meanwhile I read books like the invisible man, The Frankenstein, The 20000 leagues under the sea, Doctor Jackyl and Hyde, these science fictions opened a door in my mind that I never know of. The science fictions inspired me to think and imagine and I thought and thought and thought.
I felt poetry for the first time when I was 16, it was a poem by Wordsworth about sitting under a tree, where the creepers were dancing, the birds were all chirping. I was no into poetry before that, because poetry was never taught us to feel, the english teachers only taught us to memorize the poems for exams, even the poems were translated in Assamese, they were never taught us as the way they should have, that is what I think. But now I know poems are not written to memorize them, they are written for enhance feeling, to widen the capacity of imagination. Poems are written to make others feel what the poet once felt. Poems are written, and we feel happy and sad as the poet express his feeling through in a creative way.
Literature is thus a connection of human hearts, so that one can feel the joy and pain of each other.This is how we share our problems and solutions and help each other out whoever in need or desperate.
Before I entered class 9, I was not into english films but I had watched some great science fiction films when I was in highschool, like Terminator, species, Zathura, Jumangi. I had watched three great films when I was in class 4 or 5, these two were Jurassic Park, the stuart little.
In class 9, when I was 15 years old, in a afternoon, I was all alone in my home and there was no good programmes in hindi channels that I usually watch. Then I enter the button 4, it was star movies and there a film started named ” Mr. Talented Ripley” and I was absorbed by that film. Matt Damon was damn good at acting, later I saw that story in a hindi film, Then the next film was Love in the time of Cholera, then the next and the next …. and from that day in 2007, I have watched films everyday and now the numbers of films I have watched in these 10 years is more than 1000.
But human heart and mind never become satisfied, for some reasons satisfaction is good, and for some reasons satisfaction is not good. As long as the people will be curious about life, world and universe, human will never be satisfied. But if you want to satisfied, accept any religion,because every religion explains that there is a heaven up above the sky and a hell below the ground, so if you want to satisfied take religions and if you want to create something new, learn more about life and universe and if you want to do great works, you can not become satisfied then.
Satisfaction will lead mankind into dark ages, just like religions once lead the world into dark age, but when the greek philosophy,literature and books were discovered again in 12 th century,a new age came, the age of light, where mankind wants to seek for the truth, the people who were discovering truth, the religious people killed them calling them witch or evil.Leo nardo da Vinci, who invented the telescope, was locked in the prison,The Roman Catholic Church’s Inquisition brought him to a central Roman market square, his tongue in a gag, tied to a pole naked and burned at the stake, on February 17, 1600. Giordano Bruno (Italian pronunciation: [dʒorˈdano ˈbruno]; 1548 – February 17, 1600) (Latin: Iordanus Brunus Nolanus), born Filippo Bruno, was an Italian Dominican friar, philosopher, mathematician, astrologer and astronomer. His cosmological theories went beyond the Copernican model: he proposed the Sun was essentially a star, and that the universe contained an infinite number of inhabited worlds populated by other intelligent beings. The Roman Inquisition found him guilty of heresy and he was burned at the stake. After his death he gained considerable fame, particularly among 19th- and early 20th-century commentators who, focusing on his astronomical beliefs, regarded him as a martyr for free thought and modern scientific ideas. But, now religions can not kill scientists like that. Science is a part our life.Without scinece technology human world would not work.
I am an young adult now. The stage of life when we all get confused about our goal and meaning of life and I was also confused when I entered 20, suddenly the idea of life changed to me. I had no idea who I am, who I am going to be. It was all very fancy to even think about it. I couldn’t see where my life was going. But, I knew and I believed that everyone has something, and the purpose of life is to discover who you really are. Socrates said to know thyself. And I started to study myself to know who I really am ? Before I passed my 12th class,that time was different to me. What I think now possible was impossible to 4 years ago.I always felt something within me, was trying to say out loud, something flickering , like a forgotten dreams, some fragments of true self was always there, but they were recessive, but now they are becoming dominant. When I started reading books about philosophy, I found out that man has suffered from the thoughts about the meaning in life, destiny, karma. I read about Socrates, Aristotle, Confucius, Rene Dekart, Kant, Henry David Thoreau, Mahatma Gandhi, Lin Yutao, Carl Sagan,Woody Allen, Douglas Adams. It is mind boggling to know that from Socrates of 2000 years ago till today, meaning of life has been great karizma to the philosophers. If you are an young man or an young adult, and you have confusion about who you are? And who you want to become in life. My dear reader, you must study philosophy and psychology. To know who you are you must read books on Human nature, read poetry, novels different genre, watch films and listen to music. 2 years ago, there were so many questions, and now there are some answers I have found. Finally, the meaning of life is getting clear to me, the road was all dark and full of mist, now its getting clear to me. The thoughts and questions of our existence in the universe was troubling me, now I have found answers to calm my mind. The atheist have no new idea,except they don’t believe in god. I would rather think more then sitting down and claiming that there is no God. I will believe in God, god who is beyond everything, every religion. So, I believe in God, not in religion. God is all I need and god is everywhere. I know that I am only a human. I always wanted to share with the world,what I know and feel about life. So, I started writing this blog 1 year ago, I write in my blog from life, family to philosophy, psychology to film, music, poetry and about my great country India and about my green state, the only land where the world’s biggest river island”MAJULI” and smallest river island ” UMANANDA” exist. I live in Assam, where endangered one horned Rhinoceros are found. Assam is the also world famous for its tea. I am an Assamese, my mother language is Assamese and my national language is Hindi.
